After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize