dude i'm inner monologue high
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize