Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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