You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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