How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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