go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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