paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think i have two assholes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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