I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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