I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize