it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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