i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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