I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no you cant smoke seaweed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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