i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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