do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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