I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize