last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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