Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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