True but thats because hes a fetus.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize