Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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