If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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