the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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