i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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