He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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