It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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