How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize