Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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