...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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