How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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