she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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