Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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