my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize