Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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