I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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