Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize