thus making me awesome and them whores
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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