Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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