Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize