he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize