You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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