Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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