Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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