Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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