shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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