Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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