Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize