you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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