i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm like, not good at living.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize