just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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