I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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