My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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